A Year Ago Tomorrow

It was on April 26th, 2024, that I came home from a two week stay in Albany Medical Center. Pretty much every aspect of my life had been traumatized by a severe attack of pyoderma gangrenosum. I’ve dealt with this rare autoimmune disorder for many years, but that time it hit me below the belt.

I mean that literally (and, I guess, figuratively, too).

Did I say that every aspect of my life had been traumatized? My bad. I still deal with the pain, the worries, the disfigurement, the scar tissue…. The list goes on. Stuff doesn’t grow back (I’m not like those lizards who regrow their tails, after all). I’ve been labeled as permanently disabled. The little dog in the photos is my official, documented, emotional support dog now.

Some days are hard to get through.

Others, though? On other days, I’m doing okay. I have stretches where I feel almost normal. I sat out in the sunshine with Kira yesterday, and though I’d had a wobbly morning, that hour or so was glorious. Spring was all around me, the birds were singing, and we girls were enjoying every moment.

Kira and her mom enjoying the sunshine (4/24/25)

It was yesterday evening that the date occurred to me. A whole year. There are a lot of concerns, some of which will always be with me. But there is so much to be thankful for, too.

Number One: I’m still here. That’s a big one, because during that two week stay in AMC, there were a couple of doubtful moments.

I’m able to get around. I can now walk to the barn and back. It’s not all that far (maybe 100 feet from the house), but, for quite a while, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to do that again. Now I put my little horses out most mornings, feed them, and on good days I’m even able to groom them. (I might regret it the following day, but it’s well worth that risk.)

My critters are always here for me. Kira and Magic understand that I need their cuddles. Kira is always in contact (right now I’m in a recliner and she’s napping between my knees). Magic joins us in bed most nights and “makes biscuits” on the backs of my legs. Kitty massages help those tired, sore muscles so much.

I have my writing. Right now that is mostly editing, my least favorite part, and I have to force myself to do it. It’s slowly getting done, in large part thanks to my wonderful critique group (yay, Ghost Writers).

I’ve been knitting like a fiend. I got some lovely yarn for Christmas, and a book on a new (to me) method of knitting socks. More yarn and some new circular needles arrived for my birthday. Since Christmas I’ve knitted six pairs of socks and am about halfway through a seventh. (It’s addictive, sock knitting; I can’t help myself.)

My family. What can I say about my family? Husband Joe, son-next-door Devon, and my beautiful daughter in Japan, Jess, are the center of my world. They take such great care of me. On bad days, they also take a bit of abuse from me; I can be pretty grouchy when the pain takes over. We video chat with Jess often, and she was home in August and for Christmas. She brings such a special light into my life. My husband and son are always here for me. They’ve taken over the tasks I can no longer do for myself, drive me to appointments, keep me safe.

Anniversaries can be hard, and they can be wonderful. This past year has been a challenge. Those challenges will continue as I move forward. Looking back to where I was one year ago shows me that I have, indeed, moved forward. I know there will be setbacks (I’m sort of in one right now). The progress, though it may waver, will continue to bring more and more things to be thankful for.