She’s 98 years old, this little lady. Some people have looked at her photos over the years and called her scary, or creepy. To me, she’s the most beautiful ornament on my tree.

Mom was my rock. I grew up with a disability that set me apart from other children in many ways. It contributed to my social awkwardness and earned me the abuse of my peers. Through it all, Mom was there for me. Even when she couldn’t quite relate to what I was experiencing, she did her best to help me feel better. She comforted me, eased my fears, and tried to keep me safe. When I’d wake crying in the night, she would instantly be by my side, letting me know I was okay. I always felt that, of all the things in her life, I was her greatest priority.

How many people can we say that about?

This doll was on my mother’s first Christmas tree. She even has Mom’s name written across her back. She represents so much more than just an old dolly who has seen far more years than I have. When I hang her up every year, she brings back my childhood and all the wonder and magic of the season.

She brings back my mother.

This doll represents every Christmas of my life. When I look into those impish little eyes, I see our old home, all of the trees that graced the living room, the piles of packages, the lights and tinsel. I hear the laughter and the sound of my dad’s beautiful tenor voice singing Silent Night. I feel all of the child-like excitement, the inner flutter of anticipation.

I hope, when I am gone, that my children will adopt her as I did after Mom passed. This little dolly has outlived the baby girl whose name was written on her back. I hope that she will outlive me as well and continue to bring to life the holidays of childhood for another generation.

As we grow older, life seems to go from Christmas to Christmas. The years in between holiday seasons rush by faster and faster, a blur of color and sound. We look forward to what remains, and behind to what has been. What is behind stretches out in vivid detail, with Christmases standing out like the bright lights on the tree of life. What lies ahead feels frighteningly brief, as we know how fast those Christmases will follow, one upon another, until we, too, become stars in the sky.

It is the little dollies on our tree that make our memories real, that give them true meaning.

Do you have a special ornament, or a tradition that brings your memories to life? If so, I hope all of those memories are joyful, and that the holiday season shines their light.

I wish you peace, joy, and magic at this special time of year. May the wonders of childhood live in your heart and fill your days with laughter and love.